About 31% of US adults are single. For many single women, this number may seem much lower. You’re surrounded by couples making their way home after a drink together, and it seems like all of your friends are chatting about their active love lives. Something has to give.

All of the Cosmopolitan magazines you’ve read in the grocery store aisle haven’t helped with finding your ‘hot new boyfriend.’ You’ve even tried a few tarot card readings from your neighbor.

Don’t look any further for help because this article can help you. Below are 9 ways to attract your soulmate. Keep reading and get ready to change your Facebook relationship status.

What is a Soulmate?

If you’re searching for your soulmate, it’s helpful to know what you’re looking for.

The idea of a soulmate is different for everyone. To some, it’s the person they see themselves starting a family with. With others, it’s simply someone their soul connects with on a deeper spiritual level.

It’s crucial you decide what a soulmate looks like to you before you start attracting many people to your front door. Write down a list of standards and values you have, and don’t let yourself be swayed from these things.

Keep in mind these standards and values should relate to the foundational characteristics of what makes up a person. Write things like, “They enjoy strong connections with family members,” or, “They have career goals they’re actively working towards.”

Avoid writing down specific surface-level stuff. If you are only searching for someone who’s at least 6’3 with blue eyes, you’re cutting yourself off from a lot of potential options.

Many people who stick too closely to the physical expectations of their soulmate miss out on exciting romantic opportunities. You might surprise yourself!

How to Start Attracting Your Soulmate

Once you have some defining values written down, it’s time to learn how to attract your soulmate. Go ahead and close out of the “Who’s My Celeb Soulmate?” Buzzfeed quiz because it’s time to do real work.

Keep an honest, open mind as you read these 9 tips. Sugar-coating your dating experience and personal life doesn’t help.

1. Spend More Time Alone

You’re already putting on the brakes with this one. Stay with us here.

How can we find someone that gives us undivided attention when we ignore ourselves most of the time? Work, school, kids, and other responsibilities eat away at our time. We’ve been neglecting ourselves.

Spending time alone allows us to better ground ourselves, and it gives us space to really look within to do the necessary healing work. What you do in this time alone depends on your needs.

For those who feel emotionally unstable, spending time alone may mean making a cup of tea and journaling your thoughts from the day. If you’re having a hard time loving your body, try lighting candles and doing some naked yoga.

Pledge yourself to spend at least 20-30 minutes alone. This also means no touching your phone!

2. Practice Gratitude

We invite an abundance of all sorts into our life when we’re thankful for what we already have. Focusing on what you’re lacking puts pleasant surprises and blessings on pause.

First, let’s recognize being single can be frustrating if you want a relationship. However, holding onto this frustration and letting it control your life is what’s hurting you.

When you wake up each morning, say 5 things you’re grateful for. Don’t repeat the same things every day.

As your day continues, practice gratitude for the little moments. Take a moment to pet a cute dog you meet, or thank your favorite local barista for their hard work.

Gratitude raises our vibrational frequency, and it opens us up to the possibilities around us. Your soulmate might be right around the corner, but you’re too grumpy to even notice.

3. Stop Planning So Much

As much as you want there to be, there’s no perfect equation when learning how to find the love of your life.

Having goals and plans is great. Imagine the world if we all woke up and let the wind decide what we are doing for the day. It’d be chaos.

However, planning too much sucks the joy out of life. It also restricts us from the game of chance.

Taking risks and being spontaneous is difficult for many people. Start slow if even the thought of being spontaneous raises your heart rate. It can be as simple as allowing yourself to sleep in without an alarm or randomly checking out the new bar down the street.

The phrase, “You’ll meet them when you least expect it,” causes many single women to gag. As silly as it sounds, there’s some truth behind it. Open yourself up to the chance of love.

4. Now, Surround Yourself With Chance

Okay, so you’ve decided not to strictly plan your evening. What do you do now? You put yourself out there!

Ask your friends what they’re doing for the evening and ask if you can tag along. Staying inside on your couch won’t magically introduce you to local bachelors. If you need a little push, look into hiring a love coach.

It’s about the game of probability. The more people you surround yourself with, the higher your probability of meeting that special someone. Plus, giving yourself the opportunity to strengthen your social muscles is great for the overall game of dating.

5. Use the Law of Attraction

We know the Law of Attraction seems like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to some, but give it a chance. Basically, it means you use positive thoughts to manifest and attract positive outcomes.

This is where all that gratitude and self-grounding comes in handy. Take the power of the positive and use it to focus on the list of qualities you are searching for in a soulmate. Close your eyes and meditate on how you’ll feel when you meet your soulmate. Dive deep into this feeling of pure bliss and fireworks.

If you feel yourself turning back to negative thoughts of self-doubt, view these thoughts like clouds. Recognize them and let them float by.

6. Do Some Healing

It’s very likely as you work to focus on the positive, you’ll experience some unexpected negativity. You may encounter anger, disappointment, distrust, or fear.

These negative feelings might come from how an ex treated you or your parent’s failed relationship. Do the work it takes to heal your wounds. Seek out a support group or find a helpful therapist. Do some shadow work. Healing hurts but makes more room for love in our life.

7. Prioritize Your Pleasure

Fulfilling your own needs and desires is crucial when learning how to attract your soulmate.

Taking time to prioritize our pleasure allows us to become more familiar with ourselves, and it releases this feeling of having to look for others to remain satisfied. When we don’t take care of ourselves, we often lower our standards to find someone who will.

What does prioritizing your pleasure look like? Well, it depends on what pleasure is to you.

For some women, it’s relaxing in bed and giving their new sex toy a try. Other women may find pleasure in baking themselves a chocolate cake or finishing an art project.

8. Let Go of Those Who Didn’t Work

If there’s one thing modern technology and dating apps have shown us, there are plenty of fish in the sea we want to avoid. Trust your gut.

Did your gut lead you astray recently? All women have their fair share of bad dates, ghosted contacts, and losers. It’s disheartening to deal with it all.

Practice letting the less-than-fortunate dates and “talking stages” roll off your back. Holding onto disappointments will only hinder you from finding what works.

As you practice letting go of disappointments, don’t give yourself a timeline of success. 5 bad dates won’t automatically lead you to a good one. It’s not some sort of screwed-up rewards system.

Go with the flow and take time for yourself as needed.

9. Keep Living Life for Yourself

No matter what happens, keep living life for yourself. Your relationship status does not define you or what you do.

Go on a few dates and have fun, but don’t neglect the business degree you’ve been working on. Allow yourself to fall in love, but don’t steer away from your dream career because you think it’ll please your partner.

At the end of the day, you’ll always have yourself. You need to be your biggest supporter, best friend, and lover. The right soulmate will fit perfectly into your puzzle.

Start Learning How to Attract Your Soulmate Today

The dating scene is full of highs and lows, and we know just how exhausting it can be to learn how to attract your soulmate. It’s not as simple as quick media leads you to believe, but it’s possible.

Start by focusing and healing yourself. Do this by showing gratitude and prioritizing your own pleasure. Open yourself up to the game of chance, and practice using the law of attraction.

Are you feeling hopeless in the game of love? Contact us today for guidance. Lucy is here to help!