Raise your hand if you’ve used a dating app to find the love of your life? How did that go?
According to a new Pew Research Center study, only three in ten people feel more hopeful after using a dating app. If you got a 30 on a test, would you be jumping for joy?
If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to your love life, you’re not alone. According to online reports, only two in ten committed relationships begin online.
Many people have turned to a love coach for help. Here are five ways a love guru (coach) can change your romantic destiny.
1. They Help You See Patterns in Your Relationships
A love coach is an unbiased observer of your past and current relationships. When you work with a love relationship coach, you’re often asked to look inward for ways that you have played a role in your relationships.
Whether you are working with a love coach / guru for individual sessions or working through a program to help you attract the right person, you’ll likely learn a LOT about yourself.
Recognizing your own patterns in a relationship is about building awareness about your role within your past or current relationships. It is important to note that depending on your own personal history, you will bring different habits to a committed relationship.
These may be habits of:
- Victim mentality
- Control issues
While certainly, this is not an exhaustive list, it touches on many habits that can be subconsciously brought into relationships. So let’s dive into each of these habits to offer you a little bit more clarity.
Codependent people tend to rely too much on their partners for their own happiness. This can get in the way of creating a healthy, committed relationship. They may be people-pleasers in a relationship and require a lot of attention from their partner to feel loved.
This can cause a codependent partner to play a backseat to their own happiness within a relationship. As a result, they often feel their needs aren’t being met as the relationship goes on. Since most habits are set early in a relationship, their partner may not pick up on this until later.
Partners may feel like everything was great, and then all of a sudden, a switch flipped. What they failed to observe is what the codependent person kept inside- for fear of being disliked. As a codependent person feels safer, their attempts at affection sound more like nagging.
- You never…
- Why can’t you just…
- Am I not good enough…
- Why do you always have to go out…
A relationship guru can help you acknowledge these feelings and find a way to replace that codependency with inner security.
Sometimes people can come to a relationship with baggage that has nothing to do with their partner. This is especially the case with people who suffer from victim mentality. A person with victim mentality may always think their partner has an ulterior motive.
This leads to rampant mistrust in the relationship and feelings of resentment from their partner. If left unchecked, it can lead to a relationship where neither person feels satisfied.
A person who suffers from control issues may say, well, someone is always in charge in a relationship, and it just happens to be me. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship offers a give and take of emotions, problem-solving, and attention.
When you bring control issues to a relationship, you may seek to manipulate situations to have control over the outcome. This includes fights and even making up.
You may require your partner to do things to show their love or prove their love due to your own insecurities. This can lead to a very unbalanced relationship where one person feels they need to walk on eggshells to make their partner happy.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where a person attempts to gaslight you, you know the emotional power and control it can take away from what may have started as a healthy relationship. When in a relationship where someone is gaslighting you, you may often feel like you cannot do anything right.
You may feel like your partner is always switching up the game to rig it in their favor. As a result, you may feel more anxious and stressed around your partner.
Many smart, talented, and responsible people may enter a relationship with a self-fulfilling prophecy. People who tend to self-sabotage their relationships may feel they don’t deserve love for whatever reason.
A relationship coach can help instill that love for you, so you can accept love from others to stop this self-sabotaging behavior.
2. Become More Hopeful About Attracting a Soulmate
Many people come to a love coach because they feel stuck when it comes to attracting a soulmate. A love coach can help people assess what they really want in a relationship. This can help create a clearer picture of who they actually want to attract.
For instance, a person may be looking for:
- A person with a certain socio-economic status
- Personality traits like a sense of humor or empathy
- Someone who can take care of them (and self)
- Someone who values and supports their dreams
This list will be different for different people based on what is important to them. One excellent opportunity that comes out of this exercise is recognizing your patterns of past soulmate searches.
So, love coaches help guide you through finding out what you really want and who you really are. For instance, a love coach can help encourage certain positive personal traits that you already possess within. Helping your inward light shine outward, to attract that love of your life that you have always been longing for.
3. How to Have a Healthy Relationship
If you are looking for your true love, you’re looking for a relationship with shared responsibilities, open communication, mutual admiration, and support. Sometimes, it may take work to be a person who can participate in a healthy relationship.
With the right attitude and being coachable, you can make tremendous strides in creating a healthy relationship. A love guru (coach) can help you spot when a relationship may not be healthy and help gently guide a relationship in the right direction, or help give you the strength to walk away.
When you understand what a healthy relationship is, you can easily spot when a relationship may or may not be compatible with what you want or what you need in a soulmate.
While no relationship is perfect, a relationship coach can help you find ways to navigate the muddy waters of conflict resolution, which leads to our next point.
4. Learn How to Have a Healthy Argument
Done correctly, an argument can dramatically improve a relationship. An argument can open lines of miscommunication and help see the breakdown in a situation.
People can walk away from an argument feeling valued and respected. Nonetheless, it takes leaving your ego at the door and a commitment to hear your partner from their side.
When two people are respectfully communicating their grievances, much can be achieved. While most people see arguments as a negative aspect of a relationship, they can be a huge positive catalyst for change.
This takes tact, focus, and an even-keeled approach to getting your needs met while working to understand the needs of your partners. This is much easier said than done.
Even the best relationships will have arguments, so it’s important to learn how to have a healthy argument with your partner. It is paramount to a healthy relationship.
5. Find Your Soulmate
Many people may think that a dating / love coach is a matchmaker, but that is not always the case. Generally, a love coach will help you work on the aspects of yourself which will help you attract your soulmate.
Your coach can help you:
- Create a mental picture of your ideal soulmate
- Establish what qualities you are looking for in a soulmate
- Understand what parts of yourself may need to grow to attract your soulmate
- Learn habits to help you meet your soulmate organically
Your love guru/coach can help you with dating tips, understanding, and valuing yourself as an individual, and providing tips on communicating what you want. While finding your soulmate may take time, an excellent love coach can help you change your romantic destiny.
Are Your Ready to Hire a Love Coach today?
For more information on this program and how Lucy can help you change your love life, check out the Soul To Soul blog.